"Feed the Meter" for Good Behavior

Parents of twins or more: have you noticed your toddlers’ or preschoolers’ behavior can take a turn for the worse during particularly hectic weeks? Often this phenomenon is not just a poorly-timed coincidence. Even at our busiest, we parents need to feed our kids’ “meters” on a routine basis to encourage good behavior. Think of “feeding the meter” as a discipline strategy; effective discipline strategies are a must for busy families with two or more kids. Clearly life is more pleasant with well-behaved children, but if you’re a parent of multiples, good discipline techniques are a requirement to keep your household running smoothly.

Think of discipline as an overall framework where good behavior is rewarded, and inappropriate behavior has consequences. We’ve all heard of “time-outs” for poor behavior, but even more important is “time-in”– positive, pleasant, one-on-one time with a parent. Time-in boosts your child’s self-esteem and strengthens your emotional connection. Having a good relationship is wonderful in and of itself, but in addition, it is the setting under which you can most effectively guide your kids’ behavior. Positive quality time with a parent on a regular basis helps your child know that she or he does not need to act out in order to get your attention.

So how can you feed your kids’ meters? Even if both parents work outside the home, it is possible to squeeze in meaningful one-on-one time each week. As you prep dinner, let one of your kids ‘help’ with simple, age-appropriate tasks as you talk to each other, leaving the TV off. On weekends, take just one child with you to the grocery store, ignoring your cell phone or other distractions. Sit with your kids and simply color and doodle with them, sharing peeks at each other’s artwork. Over time you can fairly distribute “time-in” amongst all your kids, strengthening bonds and improving overall behavior.