Speech and Language Development- Baby Steps

Your twins' or triplets' speech and language skills begin to develop, believe it or not, from day one. Long before our kids utter their first words, they are already piecing together the meaning of what we are saying to and around them. It is never too early to speak frequently and clearly to your child- an environment rich with words will help boost your children's language development. Some tips and signs to look for in infancy are detailed in this helpful article from the American Academy of Pediatrics here.

Those of us with twins or more have a slightly more hectic home environment, making it a challenge to carve out one-on-one time with each child to have meaningful mini-conversations to boost their verbal skills. Look for opportunities to present themselves; for example, you can only change one diaper at a time, so make the most of those couple minutes to "chat" with your baby one-on-one.

Even the busiest of parents can use the time with their kids to "narrate" aloud what is happening in their daily lives. You may feel a bit like a news reporter, but even mundane tasks such as preparing the morning breakfast can be a speech-boosting session: "Here is your milk. This is cereal. Isn't the banana yummy?"... and so on. Turn off the TV, turn your cellphone to vibrate and put it away, and focus on your kids. Simply being present and communicative with your children will go a long way towards boosting their future speech and cognitive skills. For further information, consult with HealthyChildren.org. In addition, my book Raising Twins has information and advice about language development in both the infancy and toddler sections.

Love, and One-on-One Time

The Chicago Tribune recently ran a heartwarming article by Barbara Brotman that is of particular interest to families with twins. The piece, "Family holds tight to Valentine's Day tradition," focuses on some of my favorite parenting themes– the benefits of one-on-one time with each child, whether a multiple or not, and the positive impact of hands-on, involved fathers. The article is about the Cacich family of the Chicago suburbs. They have 3 daughters, now college-age: a single-born older daughter and twin daughters just 21 months younger. For those of us still entrenched in our kids’ early years, changing countless diapers of twins, triplets or more, it is nice to have a glimpse into the future; this article is a sweet reminder that the choices and traditions we start now will enrich our long-term relationships with our children.

Special one-on-one time need not occur solely on Valentine’s Day– I recommend squeezing it in whenever possible. You’d be amazed what terrific conversations you can have with your child, one-on-one, waiting for the car’s oil change. The advantage of the Cacich’s family tradition is that a set date written in the calendar ensures that the date will be honored in the midst of hectic schedules.

"Feed the Meter" for Good Behavior

Parents of twins or more: have you noticed your toddlers’ or preschoolers’ behavior can take a turn for the worse during particularly hectic weeks? Often this phenomenon is not just a poorly-timed coincidence. Even at our busiest, we parents need to feed our kids’ “meters” on a routine basis to encourage good behavior. Think of “feeding the meter” as a discipline strategy; effective discipline strategies are a must for busy families with two or more kids. Clearly life is more pleasant with well-behaved children, but if you’re a parent of multiples, good discipline techniques are a requirement to keep your household running smoothly.

Think of discipline as an overall framework where good behavior is rewarded, and inappropriate behavior has consequences. We’ve all heard of “time-outs” for poor behavior, but even more important is “time-in”– positive, pleasant, one-on-one time with a parent. Time-in boosts your child’s self-esteem and strengthens your emotional connection. Having a good relationship is wonderful in and of itself, but in addition, it is the setting under which you can most effectively guide your kids’ behavior. Positive quality time with a parent on a regular basis helps your child know that she or he does not need to act out in order to get your attention.

So how can you feed your kids’ meters? Even if both parents work outside the home, it is possible to squeeze in meaningful one-on-one time each week. As you prep dinner, let one of your kids ‘help’ with simple, age-appropriate tasks as you talk to each other, leaving the TV off. On weekends, take just one child with you to the grocery store, ignoring your cell phone or other distractions. Sit with your kids and simply color and doodle with them, sharing peeks at each other’s artwork. Over time you can fairly distribute “time-in” amongst all your kids, strengthening bonds and improving overall behavior.