Where is the Answer Key?

Do you ever wish there were ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ answers to your parenting dilemmas, a nice, clear-cut, straightforward way to go? It sure would make life easier! As your children grow and your family’s dynamics evolve, parenting quandaries [amplified for we parents of multiples] arise with no obvious correct answer.

We had a bicycle dilemma this week– our 5 year-old twins are ready for bigger bikes. We have a perfectly good hand-me-down bike, courtesy of our older (singleton) son [well, the threadbare tires need replacing, but besides that, the bike works great]. So who gets the hand-me-down bike, and who gets a new bike?

Our solution– I tossed a coin to determine who gets the new bike, and in a couple years when the boys need bigger bikes again, we’ll alternate between the twins as to who gets the hand-me-down, and who gets the new.

My son who “lost” the coin toss was pretty bummed, and I started to feel pangs of guilt as I reassured him. Nothing that I said, though, made him as happy as when he simply hopped on and rode his bigger and faster bike, beaming with pride at how much he has grown! [A bonus was that he had instant gratification– his hand-me-down was ready to go, waiting in the garage for him. His twin who “won” the coin toss had to wait for his new bike to be assembled from the box.]

There may not be an exact ‘answer key’ for your parenting dilemmas, but remember that regardless of the paths you choose, kids are resilient. Each family and each child is unique, so follow your instincts with love and fairness, and you’ll make the right decision for your family.