Preserve Your Emotional Health

If you are a parent of twins or triplets, you probably won’t be surprised by the results of a study published in the April 2009 issue of Pediatrics: “Multiple Births Are a Risk Factor for Postpartum Maternal Depressive Symptoms.” This article strikes a personal chord for me, stating, “Undergoing a high-risk pregnancy and delivering multiple births are stressful life events, and the unique demands of parenting multiple infants can result in high levels of parental stress, fatigue, and social isolation.” Looking back at my twins’ early months, housebound by the needs of twin babies plus a 1 year-old, I would agree with this statement!

The study results, while not surprising, are of vital importance. With this study, families and health care providers can anticipate and understand the relationship between multiple births and stress. Knowing that the odds of depression are greater, families can enter the world of multiples with their eyes open, ready to be proactive with some prevention strategies.

In the hectic early months with twins or triplets, prioritize what is most important, and streamline elsewhere– you can’t do it all. Are each of your kids safe, fed, and loved? If yes, then declare the day a success– the other stuff can slide for now.

Be specific in how you ask for support. Instead of vaguely hinting, ask your spouse directly for what you need; for example, “Please change the babies’ diapers.” Necessary tasks that may seem apparent to you may not be clear to others– don’t expect your partner to read your mind.

Good communication between Mom and Dad is key, as is utilizing your wider support circle. Friends lend an ear so you can vent, and relatives with older kids remind you that your kids’ current stage will soon pass. Join your area’s Mothers of Twins club; these parents truly understand what you’re going through. Also look to your place of worship and to your pediatrician; she or he wants to know how you are faring, since your babies’ growth and development are intricately related to the family dynamic.

Every parent is different. Some parents’ outlook may improve with day-to-day logistical help or talking with loved ones, but others may need counseling and further assistance to get on the right track. If you are feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. Be the proverbial squeaky wheel, and reach out for support.