Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Proper sleep is a key component of good health, sharp minds, happy spirits, and a harmonious family. I am pleased to have served as a contributor/technical reviewer for the section on twins/multiples for Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know, the latest book by the American Academy of Pediatrics. This terrific resource will be available everywhere September 2013. 

A path uniquely yours to take

My dear friend Lisa gave birth to boy-girl twins this past month, and it has been a hoot following along with her growing family's adventures. With her family, as with the families in my pediatric practice who have twins and triplets, I marvel at how each of our parenting journeys are uniquely ours to take. Well-meaning friends and family will offer you advice, which is wonderful, however you will often hear a variation of the phrase "been there, done that." Nope! No one has walked in your shoes, no one has had your specific family structure, no one has parented your unique children before you. 

Lisa is receiving advice on how to best raise her babies by anyone and everyone. Sometimes the advice is solicited, and sometimes, not. (Take a walk with a hugely pregnant belly- trust us, there is no better way to attract the attention and comments from people passing by.) I visited Lisa in the hospital, and her nurse came in to check vitals and told her, "You know you HAVE to feed the babies 30 minutes apart, right?" Lisa, aware that I am a big fan of feeding infant twins simultaneously, smiled and said "OK, thanks!" But here's the deal: although others may have parented themselves, although others may have raised twins or triplets, their experience is not your experience. Listen to the advice and well-wishes of others, but know you will find your own path. Some twins are born first to a family. Some triplets are born 3rd, 4th, and 5th to a family with 2 older kids. Some of us have local family members able and willing to help, others do not. Each family's needs will be different, and each situation and circumstance will impact how you handle infant feeding schedules, bedtime routines, naps, and more. 

Our kids themselves are individuals. Your neighbor's method for soothing her infant's colic may not work for your child. Some babies love swings, others, not so much. You only know until you try it out. This is a great reason to borrow others' infant equipment; when ours were babies, we borrowed a swing- thank goodness, because none of our 4 kids were a fan of it- no money wasted.

Listen to other's advice and feel free to tinker and experiment to see if their strategies will work for you, but ultimately each child, and each family, has individual needs. When offered advice from others, smile gratefully and store it in your mental notebook; use it if it sounds like it's worth a try. Have faith in your abilities and remember that you know your children better than anyone on this planet. Once you've ensured your children's health and safety, sometimes a certain degree of flexibility, with a dash of trial-and-error, is needed before determining how to best tackle the current parenting stage or challenge.

Hosting a Gathering When Your Twins are Small

Holidays and birthdays are terrific occasions to get together with family and friends.  However, when you have young twins, your day-to-day life can be hectic enough; the thought of hosting a get-together can be daunting.

Consider the possibility of making your life easier by hosting the shindig at your home.  Think about it: your twins' cribs are already at your home, as well as all your baby supplies, milk, and even a changing table.  Having your loved ones come to your home means that you don't have to pack and travel to get to another destination!  

Most importantly, your twins will be happier and healthier if they consistently use a routine nap and nighttime sleep schedule––even on holidays and special occasions.  It is inevitable that from time to time, life will get in the way of a perfect schedule for your twins, but if you can entertain at your home on a holiday, it will be easier to respect your twins' normal routine.

An easy way to host a gathering is to plan for side dishes and desserts that can be made a couple days ahead of time.  Then, on the day of the event, all you need to do is focus on a main dish, and reheat the rest as needed.  This plan not only frees up your event day, but also spreads out the cleanup of prep dishes over a few days' time.  Better yet, delegate the sides, beverages, and extras to your guests to bring as pot-luck items.  

It is not 'cheating' to get a little help from the grocery store, either.  Take the hummus dip pictured above––did I actually toss chickpeas, garlic, and lemon juice into my food processor?  My secret recipe: open up a package or two of the store-bought variety––it tastes great, and the hostess is happy and relaxed, not overworked and exhausted from adding a food processor to the pile of dirty dishes!

Family get-togethers are about loved ones gathering––keep this as your focus, and you'll be a calm hostess, ready to enjoy her own party!