Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know

Proper sleep is a key component of good health, sharp minds, happy spirits, and a harmonious family. I am pleased to have served as a contributor/technical reviewer for the section on twins/multiples for Sleep: What Every Parent Needs to Know, the latest book by the American Academy of Pediatrics. This terrific resource will be available everywhere September 2013. 

Snooze news

I was recently interviewed by the Daily Herald for this article about kids' sleep and bedtime routines. For more quality information about your children's sleep needs, and much more, check out HealthyChildren.org, the parenting website of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Back to School– Boosting Independence

Happy New School Year! It's a hectic time for those of us with school-age twins or more– we have a lot of little people that need to get out the door on time each morning. I'm always looking for ways to help my kids take personal responsibility and "help themselves" with household tasks. Our twins are now in the 1st grade (sniff, sniff), improving their skills reading analog clocks, and applying that sense of "time" to their everyday lives.

The twin goals of time proficiency and the practical matter of timeliness inspired me to post a reminder by the clock in our entryway (pictured above). The project took me about 5 minutes start to finish, just right for a busy parent! I used a "How to Tell the Time" children's book that had a "clock" with moveable hands within the book. I moved the hands to the appropriate positions and made 2 separate copies to illustrate the times we get the party started each morning, so to speak.

If your home is anything like ours, you might find yourself repeating similar messages each day to a little crowd of kids. Use your imagination to tackle some of the more common themes, while boosting your kids' independence at the same time.

WGN-TV Appearance– Parenting on a Budget

The healthy choice can also be the affordable choice. This week I was a guest on WGN-TV's Midday News to discuss parenting on a budget; you can view the clip here:

I prepared some notes in advance of the segment that I'd like to share with blog readers:

Each year, the USDA studies how much families are spending to raise their kids. The latest report was released June 2010, and states that the average middle-income American family spends about $220,000 to raise a child from birth to 18. That is a scary number, but that doesn't have to be your number.

The good news is that parents have the power to make healthy choices that are also budget-friendly. Every family has its own unique financial situation, but these are some tips we can all use:

· Keep it simple; a child's best "toy" is a parent. Remember that good parenting isn’t about stuff or things– a good parent provides love, safety, and security. Babies in particular need interaction with caregivers: eye contact, talking, singing, reading books. Sometimes the best toys are not toys at all– in a young child's eyes, an empty cardboard box can be a car, a plane, or limitless other creative expressions.

· Be a conscious consumer. Shop the sales and compare prices. Connect with others (in real life or via online social networking) to get the scoop on coupon deals and where the sales are. There are some savvy shoppers in my Mothers of Twins club who generously share their good tips on couponing or online restaurant gift card deals to the rest of us less-experienced folks.

When grocery shopping, shop the perimeter of the store. The center aisles are typically stocked with prepackaged, processed foods that are unhealthy and more expensive. Shopping the perimeter for simple fruits, veggies, or dairy, for example means your family will be eating more healthfully as well as saving money.

A lot of us are looking into organic foods these days, but they can be more expensive than conventionally grown foods. Families can spend their money selectively on types of produce that are more susceptible to pesticide residue (the so-called “dirty dozen”), such as peaches and apples. Conversely, bananas are a type of produce that is not as susceptible to pesticide residue, so you can save your money by buying conventionally-grown bananas, and feel good about your decision.

Along these same lines, more families are looking for natural skin care products for their kids that are free of parabens, phthalates, and formaldehyde, but typically these can be expensive as well. More interest from families is creating more options. The Safety 1^st company has a new Naturals skincare line– it's a good example of a safe ingredient list that is more affordable than comparable products.

Families also spend a lot on health care. If you need prescriptions, chain drugstores such as Target, Walmart, and Walgreens have various generic prescription plans that average about $4 a month.

· Be selective and buy only what you truly need. This is of special importance to new parents. Talk to other moms and dads and find out what they found most helpful, and what items they could have done without. You can borrow items or buy secondhand, making sure the items meet current safety standards. For those of us with multiples, take note: Mothers of Multiples clubs usually hold resales twice a year (and are usually open to the general public, regardless of how many kids you have!). Look to the future and repurpose items as well- instead of buying a changing table, use a dresser instead with an attached changing pad on top that can be removed later.

· Breastfeeding is both economical and healthy. This is a "win-win"- breast milk is the optimal nutrition for babies in the first year of life, and it is also affordable. Formula costs about $2000 per baby per year, depending on the type and brand. Breastmilk also contains immunologic factors that help prevent infections and illness, so you're saving money 2 ways- by not buying formula, and by not acquiring costs through illness or missed days at work.

· Avoid overscheduling. Besides saving money, kids need "free time" to play, boost creativity, problem solve, share, and socially interact with others. Camps and activities are great, but their cost adds up quick, especially for multiple children. Get creative and hold your own summer camp, and limit each child to their favorite 2 activities. Each town has comparable resources, but here in Chicago, Chicago Parent magazine lists free and low-cost family fun ideas. Look into your community park district and your public library for more free or low-cost activities.

· Cook at home as much as possible. Consider restaurant meals (including takeout) as a “once in a while” treat. Cooking at home saves money and is much healthier; restaurants meals are notorious for overly-large portions and being high in fat and salt. If both parents work outside of the home, plan ahead by prepping meals and freezing in advance, or having prepped ingredients ready to go for quick assembly at mealtime. Start a garden! You can teach kids about where their food comes from, and perhaps even nudge a "picky" eater with the temptations of vegetables grown before their very eyes.

· Focus on your family’s situation. This is a mental tip to stay focused, because so much of budgeting is psychology. Budgeting is about prioritizing and balance, and every family has their own unique situation. If you see friends or neighbors spending on a splurge, you aren't seeing where they are cutting back elsewhere to make that treat financially possible, or if they are in debt. Focus on your own situation.

· Budget-friendly vacations. Unstructured bonding time as a family is important and can be affordable. Airfare for a family adds up fast- consider destinations that are easily reached by car within a day, or be a tourist in your own town.

There is so much more to say about saving money while raising a family; feel free to share your tips in the comments below.

A Peaceful Schedule During the Holiday Season

Today’s newspaper has a “Holiday Survival” article– it has good advice, yet I take issue with the use of the word survival. The year-end season is not a hardship to endure; rather, it is a gift. Parenting twins or more keeps you busy every month of the year. This month, as with any month, prioritize what is truly important and enjoy the spirit of the season without overwhelming yourself or your children. Despite various family, social and religious events, you are in control of your schedule for the most part.

Embrace your most treasured traditions (such as an afternoon spent decorating cookies with your kids or taking the family to see glorious outdoor light displays) and make time for these experiences by saying ‘no’ to items lower on your priority list. You can’t do it all. Realistic expectations for the holidays, especially when your twins are young, can help maintain some serenity. Traditions from years past can be re-evaluated as well– hosting family or friends at your home may be simpler than packing and traveling with a crew of young children.

The concept of saying ‘no’ may be difficult for many of us, but we often need a reminder that we have permission do so. We owe it to ourselves and to our children. Your infant twins cannot speak up for themselves, so you need to be their proactive advocate– if you avoid over-scheduling, you’ll prevent meltdowns, illnesses, and behavioral setbacks. I am not endorsing the life of a hermit who declines all outside invitations– rather, I am suggesting balance in how you spend your precious family time.

Ultimately, keep in mind that your twins’ early years are fleeting. Accommodating the needs of young twins is a temporary situation that will be just a blip on the radar screen over the course of your lives. Streamline your days this month to enjoy each member of your family, your traditions, and the true peaceful spirit of the season.

"Twist Time" So It Works For You

Time is a tricky thing.  We have 24 hours each day to "spend" as best we can.  Manipulate your daily schedule to budget your time effectively for you and your family.  Creative thinking can streamline your home's daily tasks and make your life easier.  Take dinner prep, for example...

When your twins are newborns, the dinner hour is the 'bewitching' hour.  Babies tend to become more anxious and unsettled during the late afternoon and early evening hours, and colicky episodes usually peak right at dinnertime.  What superhero could cook and serve a meal while also caring for two fussy babies?  Even as your twins grow into toddlers and preschoolers, they may be bouncing off the walls come late afternoon.  During the school years, your twins are getting off the bus in the afternoons and have homework and various extracurricular activities scheduled.  Frozen pizza seven nights a week isn't the healthiest option, but the forces of the universe seem aligned in a mission to thwart homemade dinners forevermore!

The solution?  Make a "do-ahead" dinner at a time convenient for you and your schedule, then assemble or reheat it right at mealtime.  Personally, I am a morning person [perhaps because of my love for coffee] and my young kids are more agreeable and cooperative in the morning hours.  If able, I'll assemble lasagna to be baked off later, or roast chicken parts so they'll only require a microwave reheating.  Come 5 pm, most of the prep is complete, and even if we're having a hectic afternoon I can quickly toss together a decent meal for my hungry family.  Mornings aren't the only alternative––families with busy work schedules may find that weekends are a good time to assemble a few nights' meals in advance.  See what works for you and your situation.

The point is that you can "twist time" to make it work for you.  Dinner can be made in the morning.  Laundry can be done when the kids are in bed.  Prime time TV shows can be recorded or watched later for free on the internet.  Hectic mornings can be alleviated by placing backpacks in the car the night before.  Identify your trouble spots and experiment with new strategies, and you'll find yourself a more relaxed, hence more effective, parent.

The Importance of Play

Scheduling a playdate for a preschooler these days can feel similar to squeezing a meeting into President Obama's daily itinerary. Soccer, t-ball, art class, swimming... there are so many wonderful choices for kids to expand their horizons. Sometimes, however, you can have too much of a good thing.

The parents I know [myself included] bemoan the current trend of over-scheduled children, yet somehow, feel pressured to keep up with other families in the extra-curricular department. May I suggest that we all take a step back and remember what our moms taught us: "Just because everyone is doing it, doesn't make it right!"

Children rushing around town to various school events, sports, and other activities, hurriedly eating snacks in car seats, are missing out on one of the most basic needs of childhood: free time. Free time is vitally important for a child to imagine and play independently, or together with siblings/friends. Free time is the time that problems are encountered, and solutions are tested out. Scuttling from here to there, over-scheduled kids do not have the opportunity to be creative and problem-solve on their own. In addition, over-scheduled kids are more stressed and eat less healthfully as the weeks add up.

Luckily, the problem of over-scheduled children is coming to mainstream attention. The American Academy of Pediatrics focused a spotlight on the issue with the January 2007 Policy Statement, "The Importance of Play in Promoting Healthy Child Development and Maintaining Strong Parent-Child Bonds." [A wonderful read when you have some time... to see it, click here.]

The media has picked up on the issue, and more families are becoming aware of the importance of free time. We parents need to make sure we do our part to preserve our kids' unstructured time each week. How can we do this? Focus on your family's priorities and goals, eliminate the unnecessary stuff, and choose two activities or sports, three tops, per child, at any given point in the year.

The need for free time is great news for families with twins, triplets, and more. Any parent who has driven Johnny to flag football, Mary to ballet, and Billy to piano, only to turn around to pick everyone up again, can see the beauty of a more open schedule! Don't feel guilty when you hear your neighbors discuss their prodigy child's five weekly after-school activities; smile inwardly, and remember that you're doing your kids a favor by letting them be kids while they still can!