New Year, New Adventures

Happy New Year everyone- a happy and healthy 2012 for all!

New Year's Day is a good time to reflect on the passage of time, and plan for the future. As you well know, life with twins or triplets moves very quickly. I have now been a parent of twins for over 8 years (and a mom to four for almost 6 years), and have spent the past several New Year's marveling at how rapidly the calendar pages turn when you are busy raising a crew of small children. (For some ideas to share the concept of New Year's resolutions with your kids, click here.)

Our family spent the early evening of New Year's Eve last night watching old family home videos- including that of our fourth's 1st birthday. Our then 3 year-old twins and almost 5 year-old helped her understand the concept of opening wrapped presents, and all four squealed with excitement when a Fisher Price farm was revealed. We've come so far since those days, and in two minutes they'll be graduating from high school. As your family can relate, the days and weeks can be a hectic blur of activity. One of my yearly resolutions is to make an effort to pause and enjoy the present moment for what it is. The only consistency in life is change, and before you know it your family will have evolved once again.

At the start of the new year, I'd also like to take a moment to thank both the multiples and medical communities for embracing and spreading the word about my book, Raising Twins. New parents of twins and triplets need all the support, tips, and encouragement possible, and while no single book is "one size fits all," the goal has always been to provide food for thought to handle the myriad issues involved with raising multiples. Just as every child is unique, and what works for one kid may not work for another, all families are distinct. Each family will create their own rulebook, and no two will look the same. My goal throughout this project and blog has been to empower parents of multiples to gather information and advice, use common sense, speak with your pediatrician, and see what works best for your family. Thank you and have a great year!

**The photo above is of my kindergartener's 2012 Snoopy calendar's January page. Somehow the image of Snoopy helping Woodstock and friends up a mountain seemed appropriate.

The "Cold Turkey" Approach?

Thank you to Miraculous Multiples, a support and social group for parents of twins, triplets, and more in Crystal Lake, Illinois. I met with the group this week as a guest speaker, and we discussed questions regarding all aspects of raising twins. Among other issues, we talked about instilling good sleep habits, keeping the family peace from a discipline standpoint, and various toddler habits that, while frustrating, are developmentally normal.

At the meeting, one of the members and I talked about how to help her 11 month-old boy-girl twins sleep through the night. A few weeks ago, the mother was concerned her daughter was getting sick and offered a 2 am bottle– unfortunately, they fell into a pattern with this new overnight feeding, and the bottle was disrupting her and her room-sharing twin brother’s sleep. I explained that a healthy, normally developing 11 month-old does not require overnight feedings, and the new habit has created a ‘learned hunger’ at a very inconvenient time. Imagine if we, as adults, woke up at 2 am to eat a bowl of cereal– after a few nights of this, we’d feel hungry at that time, even though we do not physiologically need a 2 am bowl of cereal.

Should Mom slowly reduce the ounces offered each night over a week, or simply go “cold turkey” and abruptly stop the bottle? With many parenting questions, there is no one “correct” answer. Sometimes the slower, more gradual approach can be a kinder, gentler way to go, however it can prolong the transition out over a longer stretch of time. Another analogy is removing a sticky bandage. Should you rip the band-aid off quickly (it hurts, but it’s over faster), or slooowly remove it, prolonging the pain?

In the case of this healthy, normally developing 11 month-old, it is appropriate to eliminate overnight bottles– the cold turkey approach may result in lots of tears the first couple nights (from both child and parent!)– but with consistency, the issue may be resolved more quickly. If you find yourself debating the best way to negotiate a transition with your kids, evaluate your situation, consult with your pediatrician, follow your instincts and your personal comfort level as a parent, and you’ll make the right decision for your family.